If there’s one thing that can ruin the tropical thrill-seeking holiday of a lifetime, it’s got to be waking up, bound and gagged, in the cage of a nasty organisation of modern day pirates who trade in the ransom and murder of yuppie tourists. And so the nightmare begins for young Jason Brody, as he attempts to escape, track down and rescue the rest of his captive yuppie friends and family who are scattered around the mysterious and beautiful Rook Islands.

 Kurt has fallen asleep on the space-bus on the way home from school. To make matters worse, he has been transported to a strange planet where the buses don’t run anymore, trapped in the apathetic thrall of an evil man at the heart of a terrible conspiracy. To escape the planet you must first travel through its dangerous levels and fight the truly bizarre super-foes sent to prevent you from breaking the evil spell. Bet you’re wishing you forgot your bus pass, eh Kurt?

The year is 2557 and the Master Chief is back. After four years MIA, the Covenant aliens are on the rampage again and it’s up to Spartan 117 and his faithful but depleting AI Cortana to protect humanity from the new and almighty threat of an ancient evil. Sound familiar? That’s because it is. The old chestnut of alien weapons wiping out humanity unless you can shoot your way to the control panel first is rehashed here with so little reinvention you can certainly accuse the developers of being loyal to the original.

There’s a horse, a chicken and an owl in your living room. You don’t know them, but they sure as hell remember you, and they’ve got some questions that need to be answered. Questions about what you did in Miami in 1989.

Something very bad is going to happen on 21 December 2012. The end of the world is nigh, and the only way to stop it is to find the key to the site of an ancient civilisation before the evil Knights Templar get there first. A key whose whereabouts can only be located in the genetic memory of one Desmond Miles, who finds himself once again strapped into the magical dentist's chair that is the Animus.

I have been fortunate indeed this week, having been given a sneaky peek at the preview build of Wormwood Studio's and Wadjet Eye Games’ upcoming point-and-click Primordia. And from what my time with the game has shown me, it’s going to be an absolute beauty.

You're on the roof of an abandoned apartment building, eyeing a couple of thugs that stand between you and a kidnapped shopkeeper. Do you (a) rain merry death down upon them via a stylish blade-pistol combo, (b) snipe from afar with your crossbow and incendiary bolts, or (c) possess a nearby rat and attempt to find a crack in one of the walls? After much experimenting, and much reloading, I finally settled on (d): drop a plague-ridden corpse at the guards' very feet, silently knocking them out with sleep bolts as they separate to discover the body's origin.

In the event of an alien invasion it really is important to learn to prioritise. And to juggle. In XCOM: Enemy Unknown you are plunged into the middle of just such an invasion. As the commander of an elite anti-alien unit you are responsible for the building, running and expansion of your XCOM base and its operations.

Resident Evil ****

There’s a war going on in the world of Resident Evil, and it’s not between soldiers and zombies. In one camp there are those who long for the good old days of horror-filled fixed-perspective wanderings through zombie-infested mansions, while in the other are those who are more open to the fact that franchises have to evolve to survive.

It’s been a good month for lovers of bootylicious action games, where the swag is plentiful and the guns are ridiculous. With its novel Grindhouse aesthetic, Borderlands 2 comes hot on the heels of last week’s similarly loot-obsessed Torchlight II, replacing that game’s swords and skeletons with sniper rifles and caterwauling midgets. It also has one of the best, most stylish opening sequences I’ve seen in a game for a long time.